Caring for Aging Parents
Most people have focused on the fact that the baby boomer generation is retiring in mass over the coming years, but something that doesn’t get talked about quite as often is the burden many boomers are shouldering, which is to take care of their aging parents. Helping your parents age well and providing caregiving support can have benefits, but can also be a huge drain if not planned for. Why is this such an important topic to discuss? For one, life expectancy continues to rise and the prevalence of high-quality caregiving does as well.
According to this AARP research report on caregiving in the U.S. in 2020, more than 1 in 5 Americans (21.3 percent) are caregivers. This means they have provided care to an adult or a child with special needs at some time in the past 12 months. This equates to an estimated 53.0 million adults in the U.S., up from the estimated 43.5 million caregivers in 2015.
Most of this growth relates to those providing care for adults 50 and over. In this group, the prevalence of caregiving has risen from 16.6% in 2015 to 19.2% in 2020. More than 8 million adults provided care to a family member or friend age 18 or older in 2020 than 2015. Significantly more adults cared for a family member or friend who is age 50 or older during this period.
So this week we are providing a checklist that Phil Weiss should receive credit for over at Apprise Wealth Management. you may find helpful as you look after ageing parents and maximize your caregiving efforts.
You must have your parent’s personal information. This includes the following:
- Full name
- Date of Birth
- Social Security Number
- Phone Number and Address, including legal state of residence
- Marital Status
- Health Status
- Names and Phone Numbers for your parent’s doctor, attorney, geriatric care manager, and other important persons
- Phone Numbers for family members and your parent’s closest friends
You also want to understand your parent’s financial situation and data:
- Income sources (Social Security, pension, dividends, annuities, required minimum distributions, current employment (if applicable), etc.).
- Monthly and yearly expenses.
- Assets (what they own).
- Liabilities (what they owe).
- Financial Advisor (if applicable).
- Bank, investment, credit card, and other financial accounts – this includes knowing (or knowing where to find) any login information).
- Become an authorized user on your parents’ accounts if they can no longer manage their own money. This allows you to pay bills on their behalf.
- You can also consider a power of attorney for finances.
Estate Planning and Legal Issues
- If your parents have a will, is it up to date?
- Do your parents have a living will? Do you know their position on DNR?
- Are advanced directives prepared, including durable power of attorney?
- Have your parents designated beneficiaries on their financial accounts (can help avoid probate)?
- If your parents’ assets are subject to estate tax, have you spoken with an attorney about how to minimize these costs?
- Have you discussed funeral arrangements and other end-of-life decisions?
- Have your parents prepared proper letters of instruction?
Health and Medical Support
An understanding your parents’ health and medical needs is an important part of any caregiving plan. Work with your parents on the following items:
- Complete paperwork at each medical provider’s office that allows you to view and discuss your parent’s medical records.
- Attend medical appointments with your parents, especially for diagnostic testing.
- Help your parents manage any prescription refills. Take advantage of any autofill options. An automatic pill dispenser can also help them manage their daily medication regimen.
- Make sure there is a healthcare power of attorney.
- Understand your parents’ insurance coverage:
- Long-term care insurance, if applicable
- Life insurance, if applicable
- Health insurance coverage
- Auto insurance
- Homeowner’s insurance
- Umbrella insurance
If your parents’ mobility has declined, make sure they have the necessary modifications to remain active, including:
- Mobility aids.
- Exercise bands/home exercise equipment.
- Ideas for exercising from a wheelchair or chair (for example).
If our parents still live in their own home, you want to consider the following:
- Preparing a repair and maintenance checklist.
- If they have difficulty going up and down steps, is first floor living possible. Are doors wide enough to accommodate a wheelchair, if necessary?
- If they need to move, make sure you understand their preferences and help them find suitable accommodations.
- Do your parents need home or skilled nursingcare?
- Should your parents consider adult day care?
At some point, most seniors must modify their driving activities. For example, their driving can be restricted to daylight and good weather. They may even have to turn in their keys. This plays an important role in their aging process because of the effect it can have on social engagement and community activities. These are essential to their emotional and mental wellbeing. AARP created this free online seminar, We Need to Talk. It will help you determine how to assess your loved ones’ driving skills and provide tools to help you have this important conversation.
Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself
Taking care of an aging parent can be time consuming and emotionally difficult, especially if your loved one’s health is declining. You should establish boundaries to what you can and cannot do. You don’t want to overextend yourself. If you cannot be the primary caregiver or are unable to perform certain tasks, ask for help.
You also need to establish boundaries. Sometimes you have to say no or reinforce your boundaries.
You also should make sure to set aside some time for yourself. Being constantly on the go can run you down and deplete your energy. You don’t want to overextend yourself, feel overworked, or under-appreciated. Before that happens, set aside some time for yourself. Go for a walk. Schedule a weekend away. Do what you need to do to recharge your batteries.
Closing Thoughts and What’s Next
Many of us are living longer. Depending on our health, we may need help ourselves. Oftentimes, children find themselves having to take care of aging parents and ensuring you are equipped with some of the basic considerations can ensure your energy is freed up to care for them in the best way possible.